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NiKkI's Journal

Monday, January 10, 2005


Wow, journal. You're still here. I could sneak on here, and speak dirty nasty drama-driven words on all my friends,and they'd never know. But I'll spare them.
Happy New Year and all that jazz.

Sunday, May 2, 2004



Monday, December 22, 2003

10:22PM - goodbye

New LJ Name: ThisIsRedundant. Add me, fool. or yah know. don't. But do comment there, atleast So i'll feel special and won't kill myself.

Sunday, December 14, 2003

12:28AM - Things get more weird every day.

Right before i go to sleep, i sit and think, and i always have the right things to say to him. and by right i mean the worst. what i really want to say. what i really feel. what i really meant to say. what i tell myself i will say next time. next time i will. but i never do. it's always "ok" and "uh-huh" and i go to my room. and sit and think about what i meant by those ok's and uh-huh's. if only i would have said it. or done it. but he's stronger than me, yah know? and no, words don't hurt a bit. that much is true.
And. i think i'm crazy. and i hate the dark. and i really hate driving in the dark. i always see things in my back seat. or the road closing in on me. or a person hanged on a fence post. or someone following me. or..well, just all kinds of shit. i could take the stuff my mom takes.for depression. paronia. whatever it's all for. but then i'll be all ill and spaced out.

Current mood: weird

Thursday, December 11, 2003


Sometimes life just doesn't feel right. Do you know what i mean when i say..'right'? and tonight is one of those times.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

3:32PM - She even poops 5 times a day

So yeah. Happy Birthday Karina! She's so popular and such.
So yeah. Friday, i cleaned my room! yay! you could see my floor( it's ruined already, though)Then i fell asleep, then around 9:30 went up to Dakota with Emily. and Matt(MJ) and some girl was there. then matt left. micah came. emily left. matt came back. Corey and other tos member came. me and micah left. yeah. so then later went to manda's. yay. got her. went to wal-mart and my aunt's, and josh b's and such. Then around 4 in the a.m. we went and kidnapped karina. made her a pallet, and threw her in the backseat(all this with ease, b/c she was half-sleeping) drove her down to PC, and watched the sun rise on the beach. it was beautiful. then we ate at the greatest place ever!...or, yah know, not. and went back to the beach to save(or just look at) the poor dead guy. make the birds worship us. make friends with a dog. and let a balloon free, and just enjoy the wonders of nature. then we went to be mallrats. came home saturday around 2. got ready for work, and went to work. wow. imagine that. all on NO SLEEP! ahhh. just for you, karina. Sunday sucked. Monday was uneventful. yesterday i was aposed to stay with my great-grandma, so i dropped my brother off there around 5:30, and said i had to work. then came home for an hour, then to get my check, and manda came by. We thought maybe we were going to get to see a viewing of Big Fish, but! It's not coming to Dothan! It MAY come in January, but they're thinking not. how fucking gay is that? so, we went by micah's instead and i gave him his shoe-box and hung out there for a bit, and didn't get back to my g'ma's till around 12! whoops.
Good-bye to Micah for.ever. ..or 'till Christmas of '05. same thing.
And i haven't heard from Jenn since i gave her her Christmas present. i hope her christmas present isn't dead!!! :(
So yes. Goodbye to all. Tylenol bottles here i come. (ha...ha..ha)

Current mood: sad

Monday, December 1, 2003

8:32PM - lalala bored lalala

So. School started back today. It's sucked royally. or something. My week off was ok, uneventful, but good enough. Thanksgiving was good. That night we saved a saved dog. and Me and manda stayed up ALL night, minus an hour, and got up at 4 in the a.m. to see what all the shopping was about. someone shoot us for getting such a brilliant idea. But it was indeed fun. Friday night. me,manda,karina,tim, and monty ate some great taco bell! then me,manda,karina,tim,matt, that girl, the ex-tos member, and one present-tos member formed a social group at dakota. And Micah's party was the place to be. But i kinda..uh...forgot. But he called to remind me. But i went to Jenn's instead b/c she called me first, and b/c i love here more. duh. or something. and b/c she sometimes reads my journal, and he doesn't. so it sounds good on here! nah. really tho. Jenn. my hamster is for real going to 'the apartment' tomorrow night. all i have to say is...rip tubby.
14 more days and i'm half way there! Not that anyone's counting.(shea, don't forget the links).

Thursday, November 27, 2003

11:15AM - Calls at 10:30 in the a.m. are so not cool.and. well. fuck.

And what do you say to a best good friend whose best friend past away on Thanksgiving? Yea, I don't know either. I'm so not a good friend. :(

3:25AM - i cheated & made sure to pick answers i knew Ferris would,so i could have his picture in my LJ,duh.

You are Ferris Bueller (from Ferris Bueller's Day
Off)! You're a smooth talker and a
resourceful, quick thinker, and you play by
your own rules. Fortunately, you use such
things for fun and not to hurt anyone else.
God only knows what would happen if you crossed
paths with Lisa from Weird Science.

Which John Hughes Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2:22AM - make a wish

So. yeah. 2:22 in the a.m. AND! i saw a shooting star earlier tonight. how awesome is that? Not that any of my wishes ever have or will come true, it's worth the wishful hoping. It's been a way short week. And it's turkey day already, and in 11 hours, i'll be eating it up. After, of course, thanking about what all i'm thankful for, which could go on for days, if i'm in with of 'those' kinds of moods; but then again, it could take 2 minutes of i'm in 'that' kind of mood.
Tuesday, no one called for my hamster. and by no one, i mean you. and madison is the cutest best baby ever. trust me on this one.
Tyler came by tonight, and we played nintendo for like...4 hours! no lie. and a game of pool, and a game of how many springs does it take to take off to make nikki fall off of the tramp-o-line. answer=not many. and my brother came by. older one, that is. Then around 11:30 manda came by, and we went to see joel, got cops called on us(just me and manda) for noise disturbance. and did 'stuff'. i love her.
I don't like two-faced people. and i know all people are gonna be two-faced to some certain extent or another. But when they talk about how mean or something you can be to a certain person, but they talk bad about that person behind their back, and not to their face. That's what i don't like. Or even lie to that person about something you did or didn't do, and make you look even worse. And if yah think i'm talking about you, then i prolly am.
Set it ablaze. And that's pretty funny, i don't care who you are. or something like that.

Monday, November 24, 2003


I'm so mean. but only not. I'm only mean if you let me be mean. or if there's some vibe you give off that says you don't like me. but i get that vibe from a lot of people(aka everyone?), so there yah go. But i'm not mean to the people i'd REALLY like to be mean to. The people who deserve it. The people who intimidate me the most. I'm actually only semi- 'mean' to one person/family, and i should feel bad. but i don't, at all. And people who think i'm 'mean'...even people i've known for the last 2 or 3 years..must not know me too well at all. i do everything i don't want to do. i so wish i could be all 'fuck you' and keep it that way. i wish i had that courage. i'm not making sense now.
I'm gonna miss people come January. I'm sad just thinking about it. Some in which have been gone for the last 2 years, but i know in January i will miss them. That's when i'll have time to miss people.
Plans for the year of '04 include (1)graduating school,(2)getting my VW running,(3) visiting ash in PA, and will in NY, going to Oklahoma or somewhere? to punch my 'dad' (how weird is that to say) in the eye. maybe both eyes. to washington,utah, colorado and california.(maybe just the first 2 states).(3) killing my step-dad .(4) getting an apartment, with at least one other person.(5) and working in the food service business FoR-EvEr!! eek! nooo. scratch that. (5) plan something great to do with myself.
But as of tomorrow, my hamster will be in good hands. Good drunk hands. i love you.

Current mood: confused

Monday, November 17, 2003

7:24PM - No more negative talk from me

Nope. Never.
I'm a changed me.
happy-go-lucky. responsible. optimi...eh, who am i kidding. I'm Nikki g.
But, i did just eat a 6 inch. sub with tons of black olives.
and Tim Burton is coming out with another movie. and 4 more days and we're out for a week. then 3 more, and we're out for 3. then 18 more, and i'm never going to school again. i wish i had plans.
i have to pay for my car insurance, cell phone(thats about to be cut off), clothes(i have 1 pair of jeans that i wear to work all weekend, and to school too.) gas, 30 ppl to buy x-mas stuff for. plus saving for my vw. new tires. new engine. new everything inside. painted. plus saving to get out of my house. and one day. i'll (hopefully) want to go to college. and she schedule's me 2 fucking work days this week? what is that. Guess i'ma have to do the whole 2 jobs and school thing. Everyone seems to have everything together. What they don't have they can ask their parents for. and they know what they want out of life. Know at least in what direction they're heading. i havent a clue. and by everyone, don't assume i'm talking about you.
i make myself sick.

Current mood: pessimistic

Friday, November 14, 2003

11:59AM - heeheehee

hello. i just wanted to make this post to say that i think amanda is the greatest best person in the whole world. and that...i love her.

Thursday, November 13, 2003

6:43PM - i admire people like you, who hate people like me.

I'm back at home starting today. i haven't sleep in my own bed since Oct 28th! yeah. i know that was just 2 weeks ago, but that's not the point. So, i'm back. wonder how long it'll last. I'm so leaving for sure, for real, for ever if that so-called-step-dad of mine pisses me off for any reason. In matter of fact, i'mna go about looking for reasons. Ok, maybe not go as far as looking, b/c i kinda like having a bed to come home to. i just wanted to sound badass for a minute. Jenn, want a hamster names Tubby? or maybe a great orange cat named Topher? or a really mean fat cat named Tiger? and i'm talking free.
This girl that Me and Manda knows/loves/adores is in jail for manufactoriing and trafficing meth. sure. she shouldn't have been doing it.and yea, she should be taught a lesson. and also, no one's perfect like you. and it's just sad. and she's the best ever. $100,000 anyone?

Current mood: shocked

Monday, November 3, 2003

9:12AM - i'm late, i'm late, i'm late.

What a weekend. Friday-Halloween was okay. Manda and I were the best/worst clowns ever. Then me,her,matt,karina, and micah come over here to my aunt's house and watched novies. Erm, tried to watch movies,actually. Didn't succeed much. Micah and Matt left around 2, and i went to sleep at 4:30. Saturday started off bad. I guess Richard got mad at Topher. Topher is now homeless. Me and Manda went around, and to play games at adventure land and by joel's and stuff. got home at 2:00 in the a.m. Me and mom fuss a bit about earlier events. Topher was trapped in the a/c vent thing!! what. so yeah, i saved him, and got my blankey and all and slept outside with him for an hour. i like sleeping in driveways, by the way. Richard got up,arund 4 a.m. and to sum up a long story to make it short..said what he's been wanting to say for the last 10 years. Told me to get out. Richard got mad at Nikki. Nikki is now homeless. Not even a month after i'm 18, and he blurts this out. Mom was asleep, so i just left. called matt, and went to joel's where he was. It doesn't sound all bad here, but i've cried more this weekend than i have all year. well,maybe not. i stayed at matt's sat. night/morning, and last night at nita's,and i guess i'll be over here this week. i'm not responsible enough to move out-out.
I'm going to the fair tonight with britt,jess,and brooke. should be fun. i suppose.
Livejournal's are weird. specially mine, b/c no one reads it. which is great, b/c it's mainly me some rambling for myself anyway.
But Jenn, if you come across this.. I tried finding your house last week. and i called you. twice. if not this week, then next week we gotta go do something. paint the town red. purple is pretty too.
Ah, one of tim's(nita's b/f) friends just knocked on the door, and let himself in. gah.
Well, it's 9:35, i guess i'll go get ready for school and stuff. then again, maybe not.
Anyone want to babysit the greatest cat ever, Topher Lee? I'll even let you change his middle name. and ill come over and feed him, and change litter box. yay.

Current mood: confused

Saturday, October 11, 2003

11:25PM - Happy day after birthday to me.

So. I'm old enough to go clubbin' now. Not that i'd want to. But the option still stand.
Last night was alot of fun. Thanks to everyone for coming out. and giving me all their tickets so i could win a bugs-bunny ball! and a pink hearted PrInCeSs pillow!! i had a turnout of about 20 people. wow. go me. it's my birthday/ but not real-ly. b/c it was yester-dee. So, yeah. Went and did my thing at Chunka's, then leave,and me, diana,jess and manda were gonna go to the park, but it was all wet and rainy. So jess goes to clean her house, and we go by nita's to put my lovely cake up (thanks jess-n-jenn)and go by Jess'. Only for about 10 mins. and the polish chick has to go home. ugh. i was kinda mad. i like being over there. if i wouldn't miss my mom, i'd beg jess to lemme live with her. But i'm not responsible enough. So, we drop polish girl off. Manda wanted to go by matt's, so we ended up staying there for about an hour or more. then go to nita's around 2:00, and me manda and micah watched chasing amy, and full house, and whatnot. and me and manda didn't go to sleep till like 6, and woke up at 10:30 am.! and i'm still awake! at 11:30- in the pm. whoa. i got a lot of gifts. i'm excited. i should turn 18 more often.
Emily has a bird in her grill. Car grill that is. A dead one. No telling where it is now:/ it was great, and pretty, and soft. But when i kissed it, it didn't come back to life:( But when jenn chased nicole, nicole's lil legs came to life. ha. ha.
i hate this journal thing. my journal name is the gayest ever! whoever came up with it is dumb!

Current mood: tired

Thursday, October 9, 2003

10:07PM - Happy Birthday to meeee.

Gah, in an hour(it's 11:05 in the p.m.) I'll be 18! well, technically 7:53 tomorrow night or something ...but whatevever. This is crazy. I'm not old enough to be 18! and by old enough..i mean grown-up enough, mature enough, caring enough, ahhhh! so yeah. it's happening, whether i want it to or not.
me and my family(mom,mema,nanny,tim and nita) went to Old Mexico tonight. The mexicans sung to me. how hot is that. I got a huge cow thing to accompany me in my car from my g'ma. And a piggy bank from my great g'ma. and some pj's, panties, socks, scratch-off lottery tickets(18 of them. go figure) and purty blue converses from nita. and a nice nice camera from my mom. i'm happy.
Tomorrow i'm going to chunk-a-wonka's to eat pizza and play games. I wonder if there's really gonna be 20 people there:/ b/c i'm just there for the pizza and games. and that may not be fun to some people. and i hope there's enough room. we may be overpowered by 2 yr. old's, and have to sit on the floor. I hope people know to bring their own pizza/token money toooo. i'm no rich kid. i wish we could all go to the park afterwards. or some of us. you know who you are. Maybe the daring will go. some, i know, will be all " but the sign says not after daaark" and blah-de-blah. we can say we didn't seee the sign. duh. it worked the last 3 times. anywho. i must go shower. byeeee.

Current mood: hopeful

Wednesday, October 1, 2003

11:10PM - what the world needs now

is love, sweet love.
so today. woke up at 9:30 in the a.m.! whoa. mom left, and me and david were sooo so bored. so we get his matress off of his bed, and drag it down the stairs, out of the gate into the yard, and we slide down the hill on our mattress sled, and flip, and jump, and fight and whatever else with this handy matress. yes i'm almost 18. so what? so yeah. after hours on out of fun with this thing. mom pulls up and she's crazy mad. a little bit about this, and a lot about other stuff. and i go to my room. and i try to sleep. and i cry a lil bit. and then i go riding around.and mom and go to my aunt's (she bought me a really nice jacket!yay) and go do stuff, and now i'm home and everything with me and mom's fine. of course. cause she's the best ever! :) then i go to look at the LJ journal drama..and what? my name's included! woo hoo. so i was bored, and replied a really long dumb post in which i had no idea what i was saying, b/c none of it is my business. i just like being stupid. like everyone else.
i'm loving this jacket. i'm never taking it off.
wow. i hate people. and i'm not talking about any of *you*. unless you think i am, and then i am.

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

10:36PM - stuck on you

Tonight i learned the magic of livejournal drama. oh and i spent like 10 (minus a couple) of hours with Jenn(and the other 2 great Lynn's). and you did not. nanner nanner. :) i think im getting some horrible mean stomach virus though.
Saw the underworld last night. i liked it. Circus tomorrow. maybe. i hope. prolly not. lil brother's b-day thursday. yay for newly-found teens running around the house. no. no yay for them. i wanna go to the beach and watch the sun set. now. only not really now, b/c the sun set has passed already,silly. Yea. this post was of no use. oh wait. none of mine ever are. Topher's ready for bed, so i must go now. Comment stupid pathetic drama-driven posts now please.

Current mood: sleepy

Sunday, September 28, 2003

9:55PM - me and you in a little toy shop.

Me and Topher are bored. so i come here. i'm talking to darwin. but yeah. bored. Jenn- I'm posting to you!-...we have to do something this week(or next) even if it's just to go lie in the park for an hour, then leave. this is me missing you. but of course, if you don't want to...i have back-up plans. and plans to over ride our plans. actually, i'm just trying to hold onto our friendship. Ahhh! Just kidding.don't shoot.i love you. and you have to be at Chunk-a-wonka's oct. 10th. so ask off now. i want you there. if noone comes,i don't care. just you. and by saying that, i prolly just dropped 3 people out from going. hmmm..
This week was very uneventful. very long, too. but now i'm out for 2 weeks... yay. i had this long-planned out "to-do" list type thing in my head to do over the next 2 weeks, so i won't just be a bum and sit around. hah. yeah. right. being a bum is looking ok for me.
the circus is coming this week! micah said he's going with me. but he'll forget. and my lil brother doesn't even WaNt to go. gah. and i no one else who would want to go to the circus.
I have to take Topher to the Ozark Vet this week. And carrying a pistol in the front of your pants in dothan alabama is not cool. but ok.
and saying the word LovE is so very dangerous.
This song makes me wanna go get balloons, and sit in an open field, or the park, and let at least 100 (not 99) ballons go, one bye one. and jenn you can accompany me. since yah know. we gotta go do stuff in the next 2 weeks b/c you love me.

Current mood: contemplative

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